2018! The “Great One-Eight.” It feels so inspiring to start a new year… and the sunshine leaking into my home feels like a big warm hug, full of hope and fresh beginnings.
I know that sounds kinda, Hallmark-y, but to be fair I have been watching a lot of “When Calls the Heart” on Netflix. Something about the score makes me cry… literally. Like sobbing. My hormones from the cancer treatments are slowly leaving my body and it’s been over ten months since taking my last progesterone pill to combat the excess of estrogen that contributed to my cancers. I found out that the hormones (and added weight- gain as a side-effect) could take one to two years tops to leave my system, and the weight will slowly begin to drop off with it. I gained over 20 lbs when I was on those pills and it was a very weird experience. My stomach ballooned out, my thighs and caboose got thick, my frontal lobe stopped filtering my words, and Hellen began to wave with me when I giggled my arms. (Hello, Hellen!)
In a perfect world, my weight gain, thick exterior, mood swings, and lack of periods would have meant that I was carrying a baby. But it’s not a perfect world, and I’ve come to the realization that no one gets to coast through life without problems and tragedy. The joys I’ve experienced since my first diagnosis have been as deep and impacting as the physical pains and aches I’ve sustained. That’s why, for me, 2018 is just as bright a future as I could hope for. I’m still alive! And since death has been dangled in my face twice now, I appreciate even more my precious and imperfect life. I pray the same for you in this new year.
You may not have gone through cancer, but I think it’s safe to say that something in 2017 was the hardest experience for you yet. If I may be allowed to encourage you with one thing… don’t let those experiences rob you of a fresh start now. There are plenty of things out of our control that can throw us for a loop later, but right now, today, you can start over. Even if you have the same problems, the same people to deal with, the same job, or the same loss. You can change you, your attitude, how you react, and how you internalize what’s said and done to you. To sum it all up, you can make decisions. You are not a victim of your life, you are a conqueror. And if you are Christian, you are told in the Bible that you are More than a conqueror, through Christ Who loves you.
Romans 8:37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him Who loved us.
That being said, look for ways to be proactive about your life, regardless of how out of control you may be in the moment. Find new strategies, better friends, good books, great coffee, and buy yourself something extravagant. For me, it was a mug on Etsy that says, “Not Today Satan,” which I find hilarious when quoted inappropriately and poignant when I want to throw it at someone’s head.
I plan on wrapping up Part 3 of The Dark Cloud of Cancer now that I’m completely recovered and the clouds have dispersed! I want to thank you for reading about my life and I strive to continue to blog about things that are significant in my life, and hopefully yours!
Let’s shake off the ’17 dust and dive first into the great one-eight!
Feel free to comment, question, complain, or talk!